Ew, Mom, That's Gross

I was blessed with a mother who frankly answered every question I ever asked about the birds and the bees and gave me a moral framework in which to digest the information. Now I have three children of my own, ages 5, 7, and 10. I work to strike a balance between satisfying their curiosity and protecting their innocence as I prepare them for their teen years and adulthood.

The "where do babies come from" talk was deceptively easy with the boys. Since they are being raised in part by the narrators on "Animal Planet," they were familiar with the concept of mating yielding offspring. All I had to do was add in the "God made the humans like the animals, but He gave us the power to make moral decisions (and conceal estrus)" part and color in details about the mommy eggs and the daddy seeds and where the babies grow (regularly illustrated by my own swelling belly) and how they come out as circumstances required. I thought I had it made until the day that the oldest told me and his younger brother and sister about how he was brought by a stork.

"Stork! Stork!" exclaimed the children in delighted chorus.

"You know perfectly well you grew inside of Mommy and came out of Mommy's body when you were born," I insisted to the oldest. "You were all covered in goo."

The boys' eyes grew wild. "Stork! Stork!" they exclaimed in horror.

Only time will tell how my kids turn out, but in the interim I know there are a lot of parents and guardians out there wrestling with when and how to tell their kids about puberty and reproduction without sending them the wrong messages about human sexuality and morality and family life. Not all of us are comfortable talking about these topics, but better we should do it ourselves then leaving it to strangers in the entertainment industry or even the schools.