The Talk

The phrase "having sex with" seems to have sudden entered my sons' lexicon and, therefore, my daughter's. As I sat my bleariness down for a bagel and some caffeine Sunday morning, the five-year old girl came in to the kitchen to announce that her brothers were having sex in the living room. "We're not having sex!" they screamed back.

As I got up and peeked around the corner to make sure no actual sexual congress was taking place, I called out a general question to the troops. "Do you know what that means, 'having sex'?" The boys, who were in fact wrestling on the floor, left off trying to strangle each other long enough to answer in the affirmative. The girl followed me back to the kitchen table and stared at me. She shook her head.

"Okay, you remember about the mommy eggs and the daddy seeds, right?" Vigorous nod. "Well, the daddy puts the seeds inside the mommy so they can find the eggs and make a baby." Less vigorous nod. "To do that the man puts his penis inside the lady's vagina." Uh-oh. "That's just for grown-ups. But that's what people mean when they say 'have sex with.' Any questions?"

My middle child called out from the living room, "Mommy, did you just have The Talk with Mouse?"